Go Seigen passed away.

And I could not explain how much it is going to affect the go world. He was everything. I would like to say that I replayed hundreds of his games since I started playing go. That's not the case. But I read stories about him, dozens of stories; about who he was, what he had to deal with. I didn't know him. I never will.
But I feel bad.
I feel fucking pretty bad.

I would love to say it is a wake-up call, that it will help me play go again, that it will push me to resume my journey. I won't. I made one too many promises like that in the past, never did I keep a single one of them. I just cannot, because I don't know.

All I see in front of me now is a goban.
And it's empty.
And that is how I feel. Empty. I feel pain in my chest, I feel tears on my cheeks. Because he left the go world in the blink of an eye, and he left us all orphans now. And we have to cope.

I did not know the man. But I know a lot about him.
And I know he was great.

And do I really want to give up on something that he, and so many others, spent a lifetime building?
I just, I don't know. I guess I'm just in a state of shock right now.

I just don't know how to react.

All I know is that the world lost today.
I lost today.
We all lost today.

And I will never, ever forget that.