Broken elevator

Just how come there is such a double standard?
How come you can screw up so badly, to a point where I feel like my life is threatened, and get away with it so easy?
And when it's my turn to screw up, for once, just getting upset about some misunderstanding, you don't believe in us anymore? I mean, I know I overreacted badly, taking my key and my shirt back and all, and I know I did not help my case by panicking afterwards and by blaming you when you needed comforting. I do know I fucked up, and I've been actively trying to make amends for days now. But it is one hell of an uphill climb.
The elevator of our relationship seems to be as functional as the one at my place. And I don't mind, I can walk up the stairs, as steep as they are. I don't care if I gotta do it thrice a day and end up exhausted at the end if that's all it takes.
My legs bulk up.
My character sharpens.
I don't even ask of you to meet me halfway, like you used to. I'm willing to go all the way.
But what's the point?
You don't believe much in us anymore.

You are a piece of work. You get worked up easily, like to hurt on purpose, think you deserve the best while reminding me I'm a piece of shit. You don't mind humiliating me when you see fit, in front of friends if need be. You altogether refuse to acknowledge that it takes two to tango, especially when the tango goes awry. Well actually if the tango is great you think that's thanks to you as well. Granted I can't dance, but I do my part in us. For real.
You are candid, and that's a quality. But it's not great for self-esteem to hear from the mouth of the girl you love that you are just"big scum" and she would be far better off without you.
I'm not asking you to conceal things, to hide the truth for me. I would just like you to understand that we both need to put a little effort into making the other feel valued, and not like a dog on a leash sometimes.

You are not perfect. But who cares? I never have. I love you the way you are.
And the one thing that made it work was that even despite all the low points
You genuinely loved me.

You used to say you wanted us to get married, you wanted us to have kids, you wanted to go abroad but only if I came with you. I was the man you wanted to spend your life with.

Now you don't want to marry me anymore. Let alone have kids. You're avoiding the going abroad question, putting it off, arguing it's too far off to know just yet. Hell, weren't the kids in that case?
And yesterday when I told you that you were my soulmate, you just laughed it off. In my face.
I didn't even ask you to respond, I didn't even demand a thank you.
I just thought it warranted an ounce of respect.

I've been pouring my heart out, and you have just been laughing or shrugging it off.

You used to tell me that you couldn't stop saying I love you and wouldn't, because it felt so good.
Now I need to fish for them. And it looks like my bait is a pretty lousy one.

But I don't mind. I don't mind my life being hell for a couple of weeks if it means we can mend fences. I don't care about falling down six flights of stairs and going back up if the door is to open atop. I love you, and I'm willing to self-destruct if that's what it takes.

But at some point, there'll be nothing left. Because as of now, I'm just a replacement. Standing here at your arm to fetch you stuff and look good in public, until the next one comes along and you can ditch me carelessly.
I won't be thrown away like that again. I am sorry sweetheart, it's not your fault, you have nothing to do with it, but I had a life before you too. I have real scars as well, as much as you like poking fun at them. I won't let you do away with me like that.

I'm far from perfect, but god knows I am 120% involved in the relationship when I'm in love. You are my princess and I'd bust my ass off to turn your life into a fairy tale.
But you know what, I am not a piece of shit.
I deserve happiness too.

And I want it with you, but if you refuse to forgive me the way I've forgiven you,
Then I don't want to stand still waiting for my demise.
I love you, and I deserve to be loved in return.
You used to do that so well. If you cannot anymore I have a right to know.

So we can both move on to better things.