Webcomic

I miss looking at the stars from my window. From here, the sky is just black.
I truly miss the stars.
Just like I miss the snow.
Will I even be lucky enough to catch a glimpse of white snow slowly falling to the ground?
It would surely help.
I need it.

My heart has exploded. My brain is numb from the meds, the alcohol and whatnot, everything that keeps it from sabotaging me more than it already is. My guts? They're about to give.
There is not much beyond praying for time to show up, but it looks like it can never happen soon enough when you need it. Yet it's always here to snatch the good moments away from you when you stumble upon one.
Time is the worst son of a bitch of them all.

I still long for tomorrow. I mean, you've got to, otherwise what's all this been for?
I'm dysfunctional. My head was not wired for this world. My heart was born prematurely, it misses the layers that are supposed to give it a handful of extra lives. As a result? Scarcity.

Yet I'd like to believe that out there, somewhere, at that exact moment, there is someone who's given up as well. That she is here on her bed thinking that she will never complete the puzzle.
I'd like to think I hold the missing piece.
But if there is one important thing I've finally understood, it's that
I'd also really, really, really like to think she holds mine.

I'm tired of this zero-sum game. I'm dying to give, but in the end maybe there is someone who can give in return? Somewhere, out there?
I might never come across her. But dreaming is free.
And it is basically the only thing stopping me from overdosing on despair, sadness and benzos.

I've always been a dreamer, have I not? And it's always come back to bite me in the ass so far.
But if there is a small chance for me to find someone for whom it's not a deal-breaker

Well maybe it's worth going forward,
And hoping for snowflakes to fall come Christmas.

***

"Ne pas aller vers l’autre, ne pas le rencontrer à mi-chemin et ne pas s’attarder, c’est prendre le risque de vivre dans sa propre ombre, de perdre l’opportunité d’être surpris, de découvrir et de se découvrir.
Aller vers l’autre, c’est prendre tous les autres risques."
-monboubou

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MneRtx7x2vs&index=2&list=LLuDOPgKOCIHjDvocYlryqkA