The Niagara Blues

Once again, let's just start from the end.

I might have messed up once more.

Toronto is amazing. I am basically living a dream. I am like a child lost in a ToysRus and who can play with every single toy or game. I really feel like a child. In so many ways.

I guess I had it coming. I am going to a world class university now, so it means that basically all the people I meet are smarter than I am. I mean, WAY smarter than I am. And that my English sucks. Like, really sucks, even compared to other foreigners.

These are good things in fact, because when you're dead last, there is no falling behind. I can improve in so many areas. I am literally surrounded by greatness.

That's as scary as it is exciting.

My first week here has been nothing short of awesome. I mean it. I love the people, I love the place, I love the food, I love my neighbors, I love the school; I love that I can watch the NFL for free in a Korean restaurant ( yeah, what's that? ).

I also have a few moments when I feel a bit miserable not being able to speak a correct English, that I can't really take part into conversations because of my lack of culture, that languages is my major and I am way weaker at them than non-native speakers whose major are micro-biology, economics or linguistics. Well yeah, two sides of a Loonie ( which is how they call the 1 dollar coin here ).

And I'm shy. And it's hard to speak and improve when you don't go talk to people.

Today I went to the Niagara falls. It was extraordinary, really. I went with 45 people. I spent the day alone. All alone.
That's on me, for sure.
I knew that I was coming here as a bit of a fraud, someone who managed to sneak his way in with some luck and good timing.
I can see now that there is a long way to go.

But hey, I have 8 months to get there, and from a fraud to become legitimate.
Cause you have my word on that.
I will.

And today on the bus there was this Chinese girl who was the cutest in the world, and I didn't go talk to her, and I now have a huge crush on her and I can't seem to find her on fb so,
yeah,
just refer to the second line of the message.