Baby steps

Is it the last frontier? Is it the end of the starting line, where the linear and narrow lane disappears and makes room for wild nature?
I don't have the blueprint for what's reflected in my eyes. I've got to make up my mind about crossing that barrier or just finding a way around the upcoming mess.

How long has it been since I last soiled my hands? When was it again, last time I tumbled and got knee deep into the dirt?
It looks pretty steep. I don't have the vigor of my young days anymore. It's gonna be tough fighting an uphill battle.
And what about all these holes on the ground, the fallen branches; memories of the someones who walked that path before me and did not fare so well? And are we gonna talk about the bruises and scars on my own body? The ones I suffered walking though up to this point? It has not been an easy ride man. Not at all. I mean, you guys know all about my collapsing - more times than I would care to admit. My legs are a mess. My clothes are drenched. The scene reminds me of a weird flashback. Kaneki before facing Arima. Or something similar. I've made it here, somehow, god knows how.

I thought I had given up?

I mean, it was pretty obvious to me I was just looking for a way to get out. What happened? Do I really have to climb this mountain? I cannot even see the tip, for fuck's sake. There's mist surrounding it, and it seems to be draped in weird and creepy noises. I'm back on my feet now, so it's the perfect opportunity for me to just turn around and run towards the exit.
Then I can rest. Let's rest a bit, right?

If I jump over this sign, I know what's gonna happen. I'll get hurt, again, big time. It might open the cicatrized skin. I will pour blood like always before. I will have to grovel, I will have to run. I will not have time to breathe.
Don't I deserve some breathing space?
If I go, I will suffer. And it's not a pessimistic account of what is to happen. It's reality. It is what will happen to me.

But, I sustained these wounds, and I'm still standing, aren't I? So who is to say I can't take a couple more, now that I'm replenished?
I'm gonna fuck up. It's gonna end in a bad way. The kind of bad I remember without making fun of.

Hell yeah I'm gonna give it a try.
My eyes are red because I still have too much blood to clear out. My mind needs to cleanse. My soul needs to purge. It has been drunk for years now, it's time to bring it back.
I am not afraid to get hit, I have the strength to get back up. And I know this haphazard piece of environment won't lead me anywhere. It's not the point. Because it's either get through or lower your head and turn back.
I am one to see the brick wall and still punch it until all my knuckles are wrecked.

The scenery looks nice from here, and I know it won't be quite that beautiful once I get entangled with this level of reality. But the grass always looks greener on the other side, that's common knowledge.
I don't need the grass to be green anyway. It will soon be sweating of blood drips, so I don't think its extent of greenness will matter too much anyways.

I've won once, I can win again. It was not to happen in game 1, or 2, or even 3. It did not happen again by game 5.
But I will have many more chances.
And I know I can convert one of them, at some point. Life has been exposed, so I know. I know there will be a solution.
I can pull it off again.
So look out stars, I'm back. And I'm coming for you.


So here I go, but let's not make the mistakes that doomed our knees in the first place this time.
One step at a time, alright?
One step at a time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEOGuR5CD3Q